Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
