At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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