I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
babies were throwing up all over the place
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
