I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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