We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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