Plan B is the new Plan A
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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