Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
