im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize