Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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