Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
