you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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