Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
