shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
