it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
this hospital has no fireball
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize