I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no, he came in my armpit
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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