I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize