yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
