At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
