Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
