I need help removing her.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
