Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
