i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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