I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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