TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
