Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
