I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Less talking, more tequila
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
