But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you traded sex for a burrito?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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