Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
