I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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