Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
