OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
