sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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