I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
