M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize