smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
