Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
