Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
