Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
