Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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