Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
