Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize