you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
