Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
