Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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