I bet he comes in French.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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