Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
