No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
