i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
