Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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