im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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