im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize