In the future we'll all be gay
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
