I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am available for nakedness
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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