I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
