i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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