do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
