Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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