We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
